As a new leader, the ‘spotlight’ moments often feel like the highest stakes. You’re in a leadership sync, and some executive asks for your take on a project. Or a team member catches you in the hall with a difficult question about project priorities.
You care both about being valuable and making sure others see that value. So an ancient warning light turns on in your head signifying that you now need to offer a complete, polished, intelligent answer or suffer the consequences 🫣.
At this moment, a cocktail of survival hormones is being released to help you cope with the perceived threat. That cocktail very quickly puts you in a mode where you may feel jittery or stumble over your words. You set the bar high and that pressure makes you fumble the ball.
In reality, effective leadership when challenged in this way isn’t about being a walking Wikipedia; it’s about having a system for spontaneity. If you’ve ever worked with us, you know that our passion for improvisation runs deep and much of it is founded in the confidence it provides the participant in speaking off the cuff. We’ve seen people transformed by that power.
Here are some things to play with to find your mojo in those unscripted moments of leadership…
1. Master The ‘Pre-Speaking’ Reset
That neuro-chemical cocktail is swilling around in your bloodstream. So step 1 is to take action to quiet its effects…
The Power of the Exhale: Before you speak, take one intentional breath. Focus specifically on a slow, controlled exhale. This not only lowers your heart rate but also creates a teeny-tiny ‘buffer zone’ between the question and your response.
Pivot to the Present: Anxiety is an important survival mechanism that’s all about guessing which threats will be dominant in the future (“What if I sound like I don’t know my job?”, “What if I say the wrong thing and it costs us money?”). Ground yourself by looking at the person asking the question and listening for what’s most important to them right now. Are they looking for a data point, or are they looking for reassurance? Concentrate on being of service in the moment and park the other stuff.
2. Use A Reliable Framework
New managers often ramble because they are trying to ‘find the point’ once they are already talking. Instead, rely on a logical map. In fact, borrow one that we use all the time as facilitators: a Liberating Structure called ‘What, So What, Now What?’...
What? The facts. “We’ve seen a 10% drop in engagement on this specific feature.”
So What? The impact. “This matters because it’s directly tied to our Q3 retention goals.”
Now What? The action. “I’m meeting with the design team tomorrow to review the UX; I’ll have a proper update by Friday.”
This structure is a cheat code for status updates, quick action planning and even some feedback. It ensures you don’t leave listeners endlessly waiting for the punchline.
3. Obey The Pareto Principle
20% of the work usually yields 80% of the outcomes. Simply put, the biggest barrier for new leaders is perfectionism. If you are constantly editing your sentences in your head while you speak, you lose the ability to be authentic and hold your listener’s attention.
Almost no-one wants to see you wrestle endlessly with yourself. They’d much rather you be interactive and give them early access to new thoughts. It’s what happens when you give yourself permission to be ‘competent’ rather than insisting you sound ‘profound’. When you do this, you make the conversation more appealing and you free up cognitive bandwidth to actually listen and respond.
4. Listen And Observe
Communication as a leader is 50% observation. For example, when a team member asks for ‘quick feedback’, they might actually be signalling a need for support after a rough week. This is the messy part of supporting other humans. A mere plaintext reading of the words they say often won’t get you very far.
Understanding the subtext of colleagues’ questions is a skill that takes a lot of practice and, frankly, a lot of learning through failure. The most important thing you can do is to slow down and ask questions that validate or expand your sense of their intent…
“Do you just need a rough estimate or is it important that I get you a highly accurate answer?”
“If I answer that now, I will be doing so without knowing X. Once I know X, it could completely change the answer. Would you prefer to wait a week while we clarify things?”
“Zoom’s not the best medium for gauging these things but you sound irritated. Is part of why you’re asking that question because you’re looking for some reassurance?”
5. Decompose The Question
Often, a colleague will hit you with a question that’s more like 5 questions and 12 assumptions all baked into a neat little cake 🎂. This can leave you feeling like you’ve hit a mental wall.
Very rarely are they doing this to be mean or make you feel cornered. It’s just that people with a lot on their minds (particularly those under pressure) tend to veer towards dumping their mental state (e.g. walls of text in Slack etc).
Our final tip is another one borrowed from facilitation practices: don’t try to answer complex / compound questions until you’ve…
gently and carefully dismantled them into their fundamental pieces
worked with the questioner to prioritize the order in which to address those pieces
A questioner might say: “How are we going to stop losing talent to GigaFish Inc given that we just can’t pay as much as them?”
In response you might say: “I think I’m hearing a few questions in there…” and then break them down…
Are people leaving faster than some normal background rate?
If so, are they particularly going to specific competitors (GigaFish being a prominent example)?
If so, is compensation an important part of their decision making?
If so, what other benefits (tangible / intangible) can we offer that would shift the balance for our people?
…ending with: “Does that sound right to you?”
This decomposition makes sure that everyone is crystal clear what assumptions are being made and which question is being answered at each stage of the conversation.
As always, we love to help leaders and ICs with their voice of leadership and navigating these skills. If you’re keen to learn more from us, a great way to discover all of our tools, tips and techniques is to participate in our manager training program. We have pathways for future leaders, new managers and experienced leaders.