There are two contradictory sayings we often run into professionally…
Plan the work, then work the plan
No plan survives contact with the enemy
If you were hovering over our shoulders when we were running a workshop, you would see screens filled with prompts, questions, snippets of useful topics, detailed timings, breakout room planning tools and on and on. We prepare like backpackers expecting to found a civilisation from scratch when they get to their destination.
So what happens when Zoom has a hiccup, or the group turns out to have far less experience than previously suggested, or something incredibly distracting just happened that morning at the participants’ company?
In our formative years, we fell into the common trap of assuming that preparation meant constructing a model railway - beautifully laid out tracks with precise paths running in neat little loops. Fantastic if it comes off without a hitch. But mostly broken, if interrupted.
Over time, we learned that good preparation is actually about building a climbing wall - an unshakeably solid foundation with lots of useful handholds and lots of potential paths to the top.
When a plan starts to unravel, it’s so tempting to try and paper over the cracks rather than actually sitting with the discomfort and allowing it to inform how you should adapt. This is what Brené Brown means when she talks about ‘rumbling with vulnerability’; trusting the foundations of your preparation and the honesty of the group to guide you to the next step.
This is an active process. You’re not merely a ‘chill host’ (as Priya Parker would put it), letting the unravelling take you wherever it may. You are helping the group to confront the challenge and work together to pick a new path.
Put simply, the best solutions are often already in the room. Our job is to stay present enough to find them. In that spirit, here are a few things we learned to do when a plan started to unravel…
Four Moves For Your Facilitator Backpack
🫠 The Human Heatmap
This one is useful when energy is low or the room feels divided.
Pause the agenda. Ask everyone to stand. One side of the room is “Strongly Agree,” the other is “Strongly Disagree.” Ask a pointed question about the project goals and watch what happens. You stop guessing how people feel and start seeing it. The group dynamic is physically mapped out on the floor in front of you. Just be ready with a sense of how to handle the outcome.
📢 The Silent Rumble
This one is useful when you have someone dominating the dialogue.
Move to silent ideation. Everyone gets three minutes and a stack of Post-its to respond to a “How Might We” question. This works well both digitally and in person. It levels the playing field in a way that open discussion rarely does. The quieter people in the room get to contribute without having to fight for airtime first.
🗺️ The Jettison
A great strategy for when the planned exercise has become irrelevant.
Be honest about it. Say: “We had something planned here, but I think this conversation is where the real value is right now.” Then ask the group directly: “If we spend the next 20 minutes on this instead of the agenda, what do we need to walk away with to make it worthwhile?” You’re not abandoning the goal, you’re simply letting the group help you protect it.
🎤 The Unplugged Session
Handy for when the tech goes belly-up in a physical room.
Don’t wait for IT. Bring the chairs into a circle and lose the stage. What you lose in polish you more than make up for in presence. A circle of chairs creates an intimacy that a slide deck never could. It’s also a good reminder, mostly for yourself, that the expertise was never in the deck.
Even when you’re working remotely, just forget the slide share if it’s getting in the way and revert to basic video-conferencing.
The Mindset Underneath It All
The facilitators who handle the hard moments well aren’t the ones with the best contingency plans. They’re the ones who’ve made peace with the fact that something will often go sideways, and they’ve decided in advance that when it does, they’ll be curious about it rather than thrown by it.
In other words, the backpack stays packed but the window stays open 🎒.
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Much of our facilitation advice can be found in our Fix Your Meetings workshop since the majority of our clients are facilitating in that context. We also support L&D professionals through our 1-on-1 coaching service where we’ll help you work through both conceptual and practical challenges to build your confidence.